portrait of the tourist when in europe

  • Goes winetasting. Doesn’t really fancy the wine but buys a couple of bottles anyway.
  • Goes souvenir shopping. Buys a snow globe of the place, although it never snows there. The shop is chinese.
  • Eats out at the touristic areas invited in by a waiter that’s holding a menu and calling tourists outside the restaurant.
  • Enjoys those indians playing Phill Collins songs with their instruments in the street as if they were local attractions.
  • Buys his 7 year old daughter a terere made in the sidewalk.
  • Buys both kids a caricature made in the sidewalk.
  • Poses for pictures in concentration camps and war cemeteries.
  • Doesn’t take his sunglasses off inside churches.
  • Won’t queue for a museum unless it was on TV. Or has wax celebrities.
  • It’s the only time of the year when his knees are showing.
  • Wears a waist bag to avoid being mugged. And sandals with socks inside to attract thieves.
  • His daughter uses her swimming lessons bathing suit to the beach. And a cap with a neck cover.

(Or maybe I’m biased because I live in the country where Algarve is.)

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